Handling Autism Aggression

Has anyone heard about this study, from last year, titled "Mindful Parenting Decreases Aggression, Oncomliance, and Self-Injury in Children with Autism"?

Looks like a legit journal, though perhaps not a big one.

I found it while searching around for some online advice for dealing with DuckyBoy's aggressive tendencies in school. At home he's noncompliant at times, but at school he throws things, punches, and (today) kicked and, though more out of thoughtlessness than desire to injure, another child got kicked in the face.

This has to stop! I don't buy into the one website I found that said basically that the school (and, by inference I) should simply remain calm and simply accept it as "a consequence of the developmental difficulties autistic children face. Granted, that was only one site, but ... No way!

Not when he has shown that he is capable of learning to control his behavior, given the appropriate prompts and understanding.

Nor do I think he is so violent that he needs to be on risperidone or some other drug to calm him. He may need an anti-anxiety drug some day, heaven knows I did, but not at age 6.

Where was I? Oh, yes. So. I find this tantalizing title and a short abstract and can't find anything else about this article. So I Google mindful parenting, and find something even more hippy dippy (sorry but it's true) than the attachment parenting theories that, for the record, I still agree with, but caused such a rift to grow in my marriage that it has never fully closed.

It seems to involve saying little new-agey prayers to myself, about my child, every moment of the day. Uh, ok. I wonder if there's been a study of moms like me who just pray for strength!

I read one nice thought that I thought I'd post on DB's computer:

I connect with a mechanical brain
But there is a living brain
That loves me dearly

That's nice ... though it gets further-out from there. I think I'll stick with my prayers to The Big Guy ... though this inspires me to beef that up and make them more positive.

That seems to be the real gist of the Mindful Parenting movement -- turning your child's difficult behaviors into something positive, like when putting on their shoes, reminding yourself that this phase won't always last and to think of the color of their shoes. When you're driving them to school, being grateful to be together.

I already do that so much, I didn't know it was a movement. (Makes me wonder what else I do automatically that I could be making money by teaching other people to do...) But I struggle with dealing with DB's aggression.

I'm afraid for him, that he won't learn to control it. I envision violent men and police involvement and that scares me. A lot.

I did find some advice that helped put my fears to rest. Things that hint that this is solveable, with a lot of focused assistance.

Like this case study:
Case Study of Jo
from which I glean that there are a number of additional strategies I AND SCHOOL could be doing, albeit pretty intensive ones. But I think it has implications to help the ASD kids in this program beyond DB.

and

this post from a blog called Earthly Explorations, from which I got the idea to try giving him some practice at following directions, at times such as before we start homework and when I am taking him to school (specifically, when we arrive at school).

and this one, which describes likely reasons for DB's aggression. (Much as I love his uniqueness, when it's a problem, I find it reassuring to find him in a description!)

From these and others I've also developed this 3-step plan for expanding the "write down why you got a strike" idea to this:

1. Remove him from the situation to a place that is NOT rewarding. (Suggestions include a chair in the hall or facing the wall for some short time -- like 3 minutes. I don't think he should get to go to the break corner and read Highlights magazine when someone gets hurt. He should be even more bored than he was when he acted out. (Although, when I say it like that, maybe that's not such a good idea. The idea is that he should NOT receive attention immediately.) I think the hall idea would work. Alone.

2. The attention should be given to the hurt person, and DB should see that.

3. THEN (after the time apart) he fills out the "why I got a strike" form, including what he could do differently next time.

4. THEN he has to make up the work he missed. The problem I see here is that he's trying, I think, to avoid group rug time, and that can't be made up. Have to work on that a little more.

I give the teachers credit for adding, this week, him having to write why he did what he did (as best he can figure) -- for example, he came up with "because I was angry" for one. What we need more than that, though, is to find out what triggered the anger. And he likely cannot tell us that; we need to record and guess that.